29.4.13

For the first time in months, I dressed up and met my friends
One friend of mine, tactlessly asked me again
If I was on a diet and that I am unrecognizable
He asked me, he kept asking me
I couldn’t eat because of you
I couldn’t sleep because of you
So every day, I barely get through the day
I wanted to tell you but because I was afraid I’d cry
I just smiled
My family and friends
All ask me how you are doing
When I go to a restaurant or wherever I go
They ask me why I came alone
And each time, it hits me again
That you’re not here, that I don’t have you anymore
No matter who asks, no matter how much they ask
I can’t say your name out loud
Because I’m afraid that one name will make
Everything spill out
In case I might cry, I laugh louder
In case I think of you, I talk about something else
But the more I do that, I keep missing you more
And on my way home, I felt like such a fool
So I eventually cried
I couldn’t hold it in anymore and I cried

No comments: