she and my past 4 (final)

from my back i hear other voice whispering, i know they see that scene. nervous but i just keep quite 
the next morning...

someone wake me up
and leave me a message
go to the next tent
she want to meet me

suddenly i feel a bit of nervous
many thought cross on my mind
is she knew i kiss her yesterday?
man....... what will her response to me
she gonna hate me, or maybe mad at me and say that im a pervert!

i brave my self to go to that tent
i saw her with our other friends
i sat a little far from her
she ask me if i do something to her
when i try to explain to her
her friend got me first
squealing like a fangirls over me
shit, i feel a little piss to them
but it was my fault
i just waiting her to say something
instead i saw her typing something on her phone

i can see her face turning red
i swear she is beautiful
it is she so shy?
she pass her phone to me
i read it carefully
she accept me!!!

my my my...
wohoo... i get so happy.
that night, i company her to sleep.
that is the great night i ever had.
i had a beautiful girls sleep in my arms
she hold me tight and she say that i was her teddy bear
i just laughing and pretend to sleep while intertwined our hands
i love to hold and rub her fingers using my thumbs slowly yet lovingly.
her friends even told my girlfriend that i got a great looking
i didnt even know that, i just know about my smile.
they keep talking until i drift into a real sleep.

at the end of the camping day, i  feel like she is to possesive over me
kinda like im her property. i know i love her, but still im not used her queen act at me

our relationship is not so public to everyone, only certain know about this include her ex' alias my buddy.
i know my friend jealous towards me, that brat even say to me that she had been used by that finger proudly.
if i can puke to that brat face, i will do it. not because i mad to that point but that was too ridiculous and not show some respect for the girls dignity. that brat who is also my buddy didnt affect my thought, the things is my love to her growing big and bigger than before.

i remember when she come over my place to learn about sport science subj.
i prepare my best look for her, i wear my blue shirt cause i know her favourite colour is blue
i didnt want her to wait longer,  like the gentleman i guide her to my house.
at first, we more focus on our school project than things become heated when i kept teasing her
she keep throwing my pillow towards me in a playful manner
also she mock me with my fav. pillow by hidden it behind her back so i dont get a chance to get that back
i like her sweetness and whining, she kept pinch me if i make her mad
i didnt care if i was hurt because i was to happy to think about that
she is my world.

she keep coughing, try not to act like before i run down to my kitchen
and find some medicine, spoon, and a glass of water
after she drank that med i let her rest in my bed.
even i want to cuddle with her but it seem like i was to shy to touch her
when she ask me, if i had any talcum, i get for her and
she wear it, slowly she apply to her face and ask me if she got
some powder in her face. yes she got it, i want to touch her face so bad
but im afraid if i cant control myself and lose it by melting our lips together

she seem a lil bit dissapointed and keep quite
when i didnt do anything to her
then she got up and went back to her house
after that, we keep going distant to each other
my friend told me if she was with another man
i dont believe that until i saw it by myself
even her best friend told me that she is with another man
its just im a failed
i lost my love again...
we broke up

if she knew i write this for her
i want to tell her that i was writing this early before
but i cut and throw it away.
i still remember her sang a song for me
this is the link for that song
i never regret anything
its an experience that help me growing up

thank you.

p/s : depressed when listen to "when i was your man by bruno mars"


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